New Years Actionable (Non-whiner) Resolutions

Normally, I’ve considered New Year’s Resolutions to be for whiners, people who never actually accomplish anything, people who are normally on the whhhaaaambulance. Most resolutions fall somewhere in the “stop being fat” to “be fluent in mesopotamian glyphs” range. They’re vague, completely un- actionable, and just describe a slightly unattainable goal / end result / dumbass want. This year, however, I’ve discovered a few serious problems in my life I need to fix. So, in the spirit of actually doing shit, I’ve provided a list of non-whiner resolutions + ways to actually make them happen.

  1. Go to bed early(ish). This is a tough one for me. I’m naturally a night owl, but I might be able to fool myself to getting to bed early by showering early(ish). I love me a good shower. I’ve even been known to drink a beer in the shower. I also really like being in really warm, comfortable, if slightly embarrassing, PJs. All these things put me in a good mood and generally make me want to relax, which is not all that far from being asleep. Action Steps: Just get in the fucking shower, don’t look at the mail / email / dirty dishes / messy apartment / email / Twitter, just get in the shower (bring a beer).

  2. See some doctors. I’ve avoided doctors for awhile, mostly because my lifestyle is a cross between Denis Nedry from Jurassic Park and a barfly. I consider this pretty simple. Action Steps: Make appointments with the following: dentist, general physician, eye doctor, nutritionist. Do it. Do what they say, even if it sucks. Follow up as often as the quacks say so.

  3. Go to the gym regularly. OK, this one is, without a doubt, the most cliche, whine-tastic resolution evar. I know, because I have been to the gym in January. I’ve also been to the gym in April, when all the kids who were at the gym in January are nowhere to be found. Also, since the gym is a #creepy and #gross place to shower, resolution #1 should be even more important. Action Steps: Put that ish on the Google calendar with the following reminders; 2 hours, 1 hour, 30 minutes, 15 minutes, 10 minutes, and 5 minutes before. Keep gym clothes in the office. Don’t care how bad they smell.

  4. Blog more. Writing has been a great way to get me to collect my thoughts, find some hindsight, and maybe, just maybe, help some other folks who have the same demented thoughts / stupid problems. As a technical guy, “the inspiration” doesn’t hit me so often, and when it does, I’m often busy, y'know, actually doing shit. However, as I’ve noted to myself more than once, keeping track of my day and journaling how I spend my time is something incredibly important for introspection. Action Steps: Write that thought down. Write down what you did 30 seconds ago, especially if it was different from regularly scheduled programming. Keep a sticky on your monitor to write shite down. Ask the dude next to you (@bossjones) to remind you to you write shit down. Lastly, a glass (or 7) of white wine, the notebook in which all your shit is written, and wordpress should convene regularly. Google Calendar #ftw, again. Lastly, check Google Analytics on posts. The un-monitored blog post is not worth writing.

  5. Read more. Once upon a time (yesterday) I didn’t know nearly as much as I do now. Most of that knowledge came from reading shit-tons of blogs, books, bathroom graffiti, articles, and whitepapers related to web development. I read everything with a goal: How can I use, or leverage this to help me / my business work a little better? The Action Steps here are a bit tougher, and slightly conflict with non-whiner resolution #6: Keep Google Reader open. Curate my list of feeds with relevant sources. Prune feeds that stopped providing useful information. Lastly, and perhaps most important, find tidbits of information that make a difference in my life and / or business.

  6. Don’t be distracted by bold numbers in parentheses. Simple (kinda). Action Steps: close Gmail, close Twitter. Try, and #fail, to delete my Facebook account.

  7. Stop playing so much fucking air guitar by myself, alone in my apt, and start playing some real guitar, and actually learn the songs I normally rock out to. Action Steps: restring the Epiphone, buy a new amp, find tabs for shit I want to learn. If I’m feeling really frisky, get back into a band.