The Technician

At its core, SOPA represents a universal, base desire of men to protect what they own. To some degree, it’s valid, something that anyone can respect. However, as with most things, ideas mean precisely shite, and execution is what really matters. In the case of SOPA, a misguided, poorly informed government is attempting to execute an idea in a way that could do the most damage possible. Let me count the ways SOPA is fucking stupid.

SOPA threatens free speech. This has been said by many folks who are much smarter than I. Any bill that allows the silencing of voices should not see the light of day. ‘Nuff said.

SOPA will starve and fracture an industry. A measure that could be taken against an “infringing” site is forcing advertising networks to stop serving ads for said site. For many sites, advertising is their meat and potatoes. An equally despicable measure is forcing payment services (can you say paypal?) to stop accepting transactions from the infringing site. Any site that relies on e-commerce is now proper fucked. Any service that provides a payment gateway or ad services is now unreliable. There will be a rift between providers that cooperate with SOPA, and those that don’t.

SOPA will break the one thing that makes the Internet accessible to humans, DNS. DNS is the system whereby domains names are translated to network addresses. Assigning IP addresses easy-to-remember names is one of the reasons the Internet has become a viable medium. As an extreme measure, SOPA will alter a site’s DNS records to point somewhere else. This last measure make is pretty clear the authors of these bills are complete dipshits.

While altering DNS will render the site inaccessible to most, it does not remove the existence or accessibility of content from the Internet. This very post is available here, whether DNS is up or not. To cope with a broken DNS system, the Internet will respond, and it will not be pleasant. Hardware vendors will ship with host files set up to protect their own interests. Rogue DNS resolvers will pop up. The Internet will turn into Bartertown. Two browsers will enter, neither will find Facebook.

The internet industry and e-commerce have proved to be the country’s highest growth sectors in the past few years. One of the main contributors to that growth has been the availability of honest, reasonably reliable, interconnected services. They’ve given the classic humble entrepreneur + code monkey team the tools to build a business that yields riches. Compromise those tools, and you will destroy an industry, not to mention perhaps the last golden vestige of American opportunity. Creating a market-based system to punish violators will only destroy the system. To help combat SOPA, contact your local congressperson, or go here. To read the bill, click here.

Normally, I’ve considered New Year’s Resolutions to be for whiners, people who never actually accomplish anything, people who are normally on the whhhaaaambulance. Most resolutions fall somewhere in the “stop being fat” to “be fluent in mesopotamian glyphs” range. They’re vague, completely un-actionable, and just describe a slightly unattainable goal / end result / dumbass want. This year, however, I’ve discovered a few serious problems in my life I need to fix. So, in the spirit of actually doing shit, I’ve provided a list of non-whiner resolutions + ways to actually make them happen.

1. Go to bed early(ish). This is a tough one for me. I’m naturally a night owl, but I might be able to fool myself to getting to bed early by showering early(ish). I love me a good shower. I’ve even been known to drink a beer in the shower. I also really like being in really warm, comfortable, if slightly embarrassing, PJs. All these things put me in a good mood and generally make me want to relax, which is not all that far from being asleep. Action Steps: Just get in the fucking shower, don’t look at the mail / email / dirty dishes / messy apartment / email / Twitter, just get in the shower (bring a beer).

2. See some doctors. I’ve avoided doctors for awhile, mostly because my lifestyle is a cross between Denis Nedry from Jurassic Park and a barfly. I consider this pretty simple. Action Steps: Make appointments with the following: dentist, general physician, eye doctor, nutritionist. Do it. Do what they say, even if it sucks. Follow up as often as the quacks say so.

3. Go to the gym regularly. OK, this one is, without a doubt, the most cliche, whine-tastic resolution evar. I know, because I have been to the gym in January. I’ve also been to the gym in April, when all the kids who were at the gym in January are nowhere to be found. Also, since the gym is a #creepy and #gross place to shower, resolution #1 should be even more important. Action Steps: Put that ish on the Google calendar with the following reminders; 2 hours, 1 hour, 30 minutes, 15 minutes, 10 minutes, and 5 minutes before. Keep gym clothes in the office. Don’t care how bad they smell.

4. Blog more. Writing has been a great way to get me to collect my thoughts, find some hindsight, and maybe, just maybe, help some other folks who have the same demented thoughts / stupid problems. As a technical guy, “the inspiration” doesn’t hit me so often, and when it does, I’m often busy, y’know, actually doing shit. However, as I’ve noted to myself more than once, keeping track of my day and journaling how I spend my time is something incredibly important for introspection. Action Steps: Write that thought down. Write down what you did 30 seconds ago, especially if it was different from regularly scheduled programming. Keep a sticky on your monitor to write shite down. Ask the dude next to you (@bossjones) to remind you to you write shit down. Lastly, a glass (or 7) of white wine, the notebook in which all your shit is written, and wordpress should convene regularly. Google Calendar #ftw, again. Lastly, check Google Analytics on posts. The un-monitored blog post is not worth writing.

5. Read more. Once upon a time (yesterday) I didn’t know nearly as much as I do now. Most of that knowledge came from reading shit-tons of blogs, books, bathroom graffiti, articles, and whitepapers related to web development. I read everything with a goal: How can I use, or leverage this to help me / my business work a little better? The Action Steps here are a bit tougher, and slightly conflict with non-whiner resolution #6: Keep Google Reader open. Curate my list of feeds with relevant sources. Prune feeds that stopped providing useful information. Lastly, and perhaps most important, find tidbits of information that make a difference in my life and / or business.

6. Don’t be distracted by bold numbers in parentheses. Simple (kinda). Action Steps: close Gmail, close Twitter. Try, and #fail, to delete my Facebook account.

7. Stop playing so much fucking air guitar by myself, alone in my apt, and start playing some real guitar, and actually learn the songs I normally rock out to. Action Steps: restring the Epiphone, buy a new amp, find tabs for shit I want to learn. If I’m feeling really frisky, get back into a band.

Sushi restaurants hold a special place in my heart as possibly the worst place to go for a meal. Granted, I have not been to many, but the ones I have been to all share the same horrible characteristics.

The service is always has a certain briskness to it. To many, this is great, you order, get your food, eat, and have your plates taken away almost as the last piece of sashimi leaves your chopsticks. Rice notwithstanding, once most of your food is gone, so is your plate, replaced almost as quickly with the check. While many consider speed to be a feature, I’m not sure I agree when it comes to my dinner. While the staff at every sushi joint I’ve ever been to has been efficient, they’ve also been less than accommodating when it comes to simple things, like recommendations.

Ambiance and fellow patrons normally leave something to be desired as well. Somehow, sushi has come to be the meal of choice for the screaming hordes of clubgoers, Jersey Shore wannabes, and that certain type douchebag that only comes at night. Thusly, the soundtrack of most of these places closely resembles being inside a speaker cabinet while DJ Pauly D spins whatever the fuck it is that he spins. Again, nothing wrong with that, but not while consuming raw fish.

Then, there’s sushi itself. Don’t get me wrong, I like sushi, particularly a real nice piece of toro when it’s nice and cold. And I’ve been adventurous enough to have tried some more exotic options, like uni, which is without a doubt, a taste you need to acquire. I also understand that it’s considered an art form. But what bothers me most about going out for sushi is the vast majority of places do not regard it that way.